Book Review: How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
A gentle, trauma-informed guide to cleaning, organizing, and self-compassion
If you’ve ever looked around your home and felt overwhelmed, ashamed, or paralyzed by the mess, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. In How to Keep House While Drowning, therapist KC Davis offers a compassionate and radically refreshing take on cleaning and organizing, especially for people living with mental health challenges, executive dysfunction, or neurodivergence like ADHD.
This bestselling book has resonated widely for a reason: it meets readers exactly where they are—emotionally, functionally, and psychologically—and gently redefines what it means to care for ourselves and our spaces.
Why This Book Matters: A Cleaning Book for Mental Health
Unlike traditional housekeeping books that emphasize productivity, routines, and perfection, How to Keep House While Drowning focuses on mental health-informed cleaning strategies that honor your capacity, not your performance. Davis shares candidly from her experience with postpartum depression and creates a trauma-sensitive space where care tasks like dishes, laundry, and vacuuming are separated from shame.
For many readers who’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, grief, chronic illness, or ADHD, this book provides more than just cleaning tips—it offers emotional relief, validation, and hope.
“Care tasks are morally neutral,” Davis reminds us. “Mess is not a moral failing.”
Top Takeaways and Practical Tips from How to Keep House While Drowning
This book is more than just motivational—it offers easy-to-use, flexible systems that make everyday tasks feel more manageable. Davis shares parts of her own story in a way that helps readers feel less alone in the struggles that come with keeping up a home. I first listened to the audiobook and liked it so much that I bought the print version too. If you don’t usually enjoy reading, this book is a great option. It’s short and easy to get through, broken into 41 small chapters. That might sound like a lot, but each chapter is very quick to read with usually just a few to several pages, which makes it perfect for short breaks or for times when you want to read a little more without getting overwhelmed.
1. The Five Things Tidying Method
This gentle and approachable cleaning method breaks tidying down into just five clear categories. It’s designed to reduce overwhelm, especially for those dealing with ADHD, depression, anxiety, or burnout. The goal isn’t to make your home perfect—it’s to make it more livable, one small step at a time.
Here’s how it works:
1. Trash
Start by removing all visible trash. Grab a garbage bag and begin by gathering items that can be thrown away. You can start by piling it all in one spot, then bagging it up. No need to take it out right away—just get it collected.
2. Dishes
Next, focus on gathering any dirty dishes. Stack them by the sink or in one spot. Don’t worry about washing them yet—this is just about getting them in one place so they’re out of your way.
3. Laundry
Gather all laundry and scattered shoes. Again, you’re not starting a load just yet—you’re simply grouping everything together. This step helps clear visual clutter and gives you the option to start laundry when you have the energy for it.
4. Items With a Home
Pick a small area—like a corner, tabletop, or desk—and begin returning items that already have a place. One of the most helpful skills here is chunking: breaking a larger task into smaller parts. If the whole room feels like too much, just tidy one surface. Take breaks, set timers, and work in short bursts if that helps. When you come across things that don’t have a home, put them in a separate pile for now.
5. Items Without a Home
This final step is about making decisions. For the items that don’t have a place, ask yourself: Do I want to find a home for this? Donate it? Throw it away? You don’t need to sort it all immediately—just start noticing what you’re holding onto and why.
Be Gentle With Yourself
This method works best when you remember to chunk tasks into manageable steps and take your time. If your home has been on the back burner due to life stress, grief, illness, or anything else, there’s absolutely no shame in spreading this out over several days—or even longer.
By approaching tidying with kindness and realistic expectations, you’re more likely to return to it again. This is an act of radical gentleness, and it can go a long way toward reducing stress and making your space feel safe and functional again.
Once you’ve worked through all five categories, you can decide what comes next:
- Do you want to take out the trash now or later?
- Do you have the energy to start a load of laundry?
- Do you want to wash a few dishes or leave them for tomorrow?
There are no “shoulds” here—only options. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend who’s struggling, and give yourself credit for every step you take. Creating a home that works for you is a process, and you’re allowed to do it at your own pace.
2. Closing Duties for Daily Maintenance
Inspired by restaurant staff routines, Davis introduces the idea of a short nightly reset called “closing duties.” This might involve simple tasks like running the dishwasher, taking out the trash, or clearing just one surface. The goal isn’t a perfectly clean home—it’s a small, consistent act of care for your future self.
This approach is especially helpful for those navigating ADHD or executive dysfunction, as it offers a more realistic and forgiving alternative to rigid cleaning schedules. It’s also a great opportunity to practice self-compassion. While routines can be helpful for building habits, it’s okay if some nights you don’t have the energy. On those days, I might choose to organize instead of clean—or leave things until the next day entirely. Sometimes, the best reset is simply getting a good night’s sleep.
3. Function Over Perfection
Throughout the book, Davis reframes cleaning as a functional support—not a performance. She encourages readers to ask:
“Does this space work for me?” instead of “Does this space look perfect?” I love this question! I don’t aim to keep my space like HGTV homes, instead I go with what works for me focusing on what is functional.
This trauma-informed shift is especially helpful for people with anxiety, past neglect, or histories of punitive expectations around cleanliness.
4. Task Pairing and Adaptive Strategies
From using disposable dishware during mental health episodes to listening to music while folding laundry, Davis offers ideas that reduce the emotional resistance to care tasks.
Some tips that stand out include:
- Using laundry baskets as drawers
- Storing clothes unfolded to reduce overwhelm
- Pairing chores with podcasts or comfort media
- Prioritizing tasks that support current needs (like clean underwear over perfectly folded towels)
These strategies normalize adaptive behavior and give readers permission to do what works—even if it looks unconventional.
Who Should Read This Book?
This book is ideal for:
- Adults with ADHD, autism, or executive dysfunction
- People recovering from depression, grief, or trauma
- Burned-out caregivers, parents, or therapists
- Anyone who feels overwhelmed by home care tasks
- Clinicians looking to recommend mental health-friendly cleaning resources
How to Keep House While Drowning is also perfect for anyone who identifies as a human being. If you’re a therapist or coach working with neurodivergent adults, this book aligns beautifully with internal family systems (IFS), EMDR, and other trauma-informed modalities by reinforcing self-compassion and capacity-based pacing.
Final Thoughts: A Compassionate Cleaning Companion
How to Keep House While Drowning isn’t just a guide to tidying—it’s a quiet revolution. KC Davis helps readers dismantle shame, build self-trust, and reconnect with the idea that care tasks can be an act of kindness to ourselves—not a judgment of our worth.
With its short chapters, soothing tone, and practical strategies, this book is incredibly accessible, even for readers in the middle of crisis, burnout, or low energy.